i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
