If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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