You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
