He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
