i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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