I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
