I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
