i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
