Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
NoShamevember. You game?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize