you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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