Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
