did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
