On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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