I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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