it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
