well I can't set my house on fire every night
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
