I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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