I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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