I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
