i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
