real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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