I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
