And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
