She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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