So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize