Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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