You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
