So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
