i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
