He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
