Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
