I hope mine doesn't look like that
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
