Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Every concussion has its silver lining
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
