Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
