And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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