GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
