her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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