you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize