her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
