Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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