i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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