We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
