I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
