is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
