So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Michael Bay diarrhea
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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