david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
