Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
