Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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