Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
