We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
