my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
its not stalking. its research.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
