girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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