Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize