That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
