Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just pee around me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
