I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
