What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
