Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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