the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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