the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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