I must be too annoying 4 u.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
