HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
