I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
