I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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