dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize