I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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